Thursday, November 8, 2012


If I were the devil, I would be feeling pretty great lately.  I would be happy that fewer people are being born into this world. Yup, since the devil rejoices in misery, he is happy knowing that right now there are increasingly more elderly people to babies being born. If you don't understand what that means, it means fewer people will be around to take care of elderly people as time goes by.  This will be a drain financially, emotionally, and physically on you young-uns. But, we probably don't need to worry too much, because probably by then, the devil will have numbed us enough to have us scheduling euthanasia for those without anyone to care for them in their waning years.

If I were the devil, I'd be rejoicing that people are starting to think that China got it right on limiting size of families. Hey, we didn't even have to put a limit on family size, we just made it so stinkin' expensive to have a baby, young people had to arrange and agonize and analyze before agreeing to welcome a new little bundle into their homes. You know it's true from the cost of insurance to the cost of food and clothing. Our pioneer ancestors knew nothing of these concerns, a child was insurance against their eventual aging problems. Of course they'd feed and clothe the little ones that came into their homes.  They'd just work hard and teach them to work. What a novel idea, teenagers with summer employment.  The schools have shrunk the summer so far that it is hard to find that kind of work.

If I were the devil, I'd be happy that hospitals are expensive and communities are shocked at a family with more than two children or three. Mothers walking around with lots of children following after them are looked at with suspicion as if they were sucking the food and sustenance out of  Mother Earth in alarming amounts, putting the rest of the world in peril. (I loved making the devil angry by walking around with my 5 little ducklings close behind seeing the shocked looks on passers-by. I also love spelling the devil without caps.)

Now at the half-way point of my post, I want to say that the devil would love it if you readers misunderstood me and thought that I was criticizing those of you who (for whatever reason) have less than a large family.  I'm not. I'm just saying that the devil throws roadblocks at everyone and some of them are crippling if not paralyzing. No one should judge anyone on their family size, ever. I know several families who are lucky to have one child because of physical limitations.

If I were the devil, I'd be dancing today because same sex marriage was approved in three more states. He thinks it is great when heterosexual parents have fertility problems. He thinks it's even better when homosexual couples get together. How many children do glbt (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender)  couples have. Not many!  I wonder why. Nature had a big part in that one. See, the devil wins when gay people marry. Do you see that if he can prevent births, that thwarts God's plan to" bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." If he can prevent them from even being born, he doesn't have to worry about them turning to God once they are here. It's like preventive medicine. Plus, if babies do grow up in glbt households there is a good chance they will also embrace that lifestyle but the jury is still out on that one. Don't get me wrong on this one either.  Some of the kindest, most talented people I know are gay.

If I were the devil, I'd be tickled to death that abortion is legal and subsidized by lots of agencies including our government (funded by our own taxpayer dollars).  I'd be glad that late term abortions are not abhorred and abandoned by all of society. The devil is probably dancing in his dandelions about the fact that Americans feel entitled to free birth control especially for those that shouldn't even be old enough to get it, like Jr. and Sr. high school students (without parents being consulted). Heaven forbid that parents should be able to talk a child out of being sexually active. Never mind that schools can't even give a Tylenol to a student without a parents consent. This only makes sense to someone like the devil.

And lastly, if I were the devil, I would be partying in the park because he's tricked so many young men  into being so terribly afraid of marriage or unsure of their fitness for fatherhood that they live, unmarried, with their parents until they are nearly 30.  Then all those girls they eventually marry will only have a very few years of fertility and that means fewer babies!!! Are you seeing a pattern here?

As Paul Harvey once said, "If I were the devil, I'd just keep on doing what I've been doing." And don't forget that babies cry; make diapers smell;  make mommy's tired and also daddies. But, once you've snuggled with a little baby and kissed those little fingers and toes, you can see why the devil doesn't like them. They are a threat to his whole plan. They make you want more.