SHARING TIME

Walter Seiter was one of my first church leaders growing up. He had 10 children who were good kids. My mother asked him once how you get children to learn to share with other children. He answered confidently that you just have more children. He didn't elaborate, he just said it matter-of-factly. I've heard lots of theories about family dynamics and the part birth-order plays in a child's life. But, each child gains coping skills unique to themselves that helps them in differing ways to adapt to society.

Whitney is my oldest child. She has a keen mind and reasons well. She had only about 16 months of being an only child. She didn't have time to develop too much selfishness before Cassie came along to share my time and Whitney's toys.


Speaking of toys, we came from an era where toys were not widely available in the stores except at Christmas time. There were five and dime stores that had little toys like cars, bouncy balls, rubber snakes, rubber punch balls, toy soldiers, slinkys, etc. But, baby dolls, barbies, tonka trucks, etc. came out about Thanksgiving time. We loved getting the Sears Christmas Wish Book catalog. What fun it was to choose the toys you wanted for Christmas. So, we rarely bought toys for our kids anytime but Christmas.

The fun part about that is that we got the kids each a toy or two of their own and then the rest of the toys were basically designed to be shared. If we knew the toy wasn't shareable, we made sure each child had something very comparable so they wouldn't fight. One year we got Cassie a little bald baby doll and Whitney got a pretty little baby doll with black hair. Tragedy struck when Whitney liked Cassie's doll better. Whitney enjoyed the other toys but blatantly ignored her baby. No amount of praise for the doll swayed her disdain for the doll.

The neighbor girl, Dena Groff, came down to see what the kids had received from Santa and took one look at Whitney's doll and fell in love. She couldn't figure out why Whitney didn't love it. Dena said, "I've got a doll like Cassie's except she has a blue dress." Cassie's was pink. I said, "Dena, do you like Whitney's doll well enough that you'd like to trade your blue doll for Whitney's doll." She was aghast at the suggestion. She said enthusiastically, "Of course!" Whitney's doll was a much more expensive doll. Off she went to bring her old doll over to the house. Whitney grabbed the bald little doll and hugged it and hugged it and never even looked back as Dena carried her new baby off to her house feeling like she won the lottery. I learned then that you can never go wrong if you buy the exact thing for two close-in-age children.


One year, I found two Cabbage patch kids that looked alike to me. When Cassie found that hers had a tuft of hair under the bonnet, she was deflated. Whitney's was bald. So, she slipped into the bathroom one day and shaved it off. She wasn't delighted with the result but she was happier knowing that it was closer to perfection. Babies in our family didn't have hair! Anyone knows that!


Whitney and Cassie played pretty well together. The oldest child has the advantage over the younger for a little while because of age until the second child learns how to deal with the advantage. The second one learns to refuse to do the thing the older one wants to do (even if he/she really would like to play). That causes the older child to have to bargain with the younger one and the playing field gets evened out.





Whitney and Cassie played school. Whitney was always the teacher and Cassie was always the student with no authority. Cassie refused to play, choosing to make Whitney teach her dolls. This brought on tears for Whitney. Cassie got this smug little look on her face that said, "I won!" Mom was brought into the picture and I assessed the situation by asking lots of questions from each child without showing any bias. Then I tried to get each one to see the other's point of view and a compromise was struck by allowing Cassie to be the teacher first and then Whitney would get to be the teacher next. Both were mostly happy but sharing occurred. In most cases tears were my signal to intervene. If the mother doesn't intervene...often the second child begins to take over control by tormenting the older child; refusing to cooperate in ANY activity and teasing incessantly.

Sunny days and Mondays Always Turn Me Around

Today I awoke at 5:45 and went to teach my church history class at the church. My co-teacher and I discussed the rest of the week's plans and I went home. At 11:30 A.M. I checked my email and saw a reminder of a doctor visit that was at 11:20. I was stunned. I had missed my appointment. I ran to the car, after grabbing my purse, almost without touching the ground. The stop lights were in my favor except at two long lights. I made it in 20 minutes. But, I was too late. The doctor was already at lunch.

I was so embarrassed because I had missed a previous appointment by putting the date on my calendar a week later than it really was. How could I explain two missed appointments. No matter that I had not missed a single appointment in the previous 10 years. Really it is true. I was commiserating to the lady at the counter looking for another appointment. She couldn't find another opening today and the operator wasn't answering the phone with other options. I said, "I don't know what is wrong with me. I've been thinking today is Monday all day." She kept typing on the keyboard looking for an opening, without responding. "Well, thank you for trying," I said. I'll call when I get home. She shrugged her shoulders and sympathetically said, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

Back at home I was thinking about how I told a friend I would go Christmas shopping with her tomorrow and that I must have been crazy. Tomorrow I have to go to the temple. Wait! Tomorrow isn't Wednesday, my temple day. Tomorrow is Tuesday. WAIT!!!!! My Dr. appointment is on Tuesday!!!! I didn't miss my appointment! It is tomorrow. Today IS Monday. No wonder the lady didn't respond when I said I had been thinking today is Monday. She thought she was dealing with a lunatic and it turns out, she was.
Now what are the odds of my remembering my appointment at 11:20 tomorrow? And aren't I glad I didn't call my piano student when I thought he had stood me up this afternoon? Yes Scarlet, "Tomorrow is another day," (Tuesday that is).

There's always room for one more.

When Brett was a couple of years older than this picture, he spent the night at a friend's house on a Friday night. We knew the family well and we went to pick him up the next morning. The family had the exact floor plan our house had and early in the morning, Brett sleep walked into the parent's bedroom. Without waking up, he crawled onto their bed and snuggled in between the two parents and kept sleeping. Hating to wake him, knowing he might be shocked and embarrassed, they went back to sleep until an hour or so had passed and they both sneaked out of bed to begin the day. Lots of laughter was had when he finally awoke in a strange bed in a strange house. That's what I call making yourself at home.

If you've got it... flaunt it.

Some people are hat people and some are not. Cassie always liked hats. This is the most famous of her hats. An old ball popped and a new hat was born from the tragedy. She put it on her head every day. It accented her ears. It also hid the fact that she was very slow getting hair. I can't wear a hat of any kind and be taken seriously. I look awful in every hat I have ever worn. When I had long hair, I could wear them but ever since I cut my hair 30 years ago, I have been cursed with an unadornable head.

Mojave is hot but 'snot as hot as Redhots

When our family lived in Bishop, we went south to Los Angeles one weekend for a visit. On our way, we stopped at at Taco Bell in Mojave. While standing in line, Brad was studying the menu while eating Redhots. He had a few in the palm of his hand when he had to sneeze. Without thinking, he put his hand, with the Redhots up to his face to block the spray of his sneeze. After the sneeze, he sniffed before removing his hand from his nose and face. He got this concerned look on his face and his eyes got great big. He said, "I think I sniffed a redhot up my nose!" He was looking in his wet hand trying to remember how many Redhots were in his hand before he sneezed.
We started laughing and thought he was just joking around. But, his eyes were watering and his nose was beginning to run pink!!!! His nose was stinging like the Dickens and he was getting panicky. He finally figured that he needed to blow it out and was eventually successful in getting it out. However, his nose continued to leak red snot for a little while.

How to avoid the Dole 101

When I was a young mother, I had a problem that cropped up because of the fact that my children didn’t appreciate the benefits they were receiving. We provided them food, shelter, clothing recreation and love. (They knew we loved them most days.) They knew that their father worked long hours to pay for food, shelter, and clothing for them and that I spent long hours washing their clothing, cooking and cleaning up after them. They were asked to keep their rooms tidy and do a few chores when they were old enough.
By and by, I discovered that there were clothes in the hamper that were not dirty. They decided it was easier to throw clean clothes into the hamper than to fold them or hang them up when I asked them to clean up their rooms. So, I decided that I should teach them to wash their own clothing. When the kids were about 12 years old, they were old enough to be taught how to wash clothing. I never got any complaints that they didn’t have clean underwear after that because they knew it was their own problem. They didn’t put clean clothes in the hamper, either. When I saw that they were being very responsible, I would reward them with some assistance in folding and putting the clothes away for them, occasionally
When my children began complaining that we weren’t buying designer clothing that was popular with their age group, we decided on a plan to make their dreams come true. We started giving them a generous allowance so they could purchase their own clothing. They had a tally sheet showing earned cash and we had pay day at the end of the pay period. They got paid for completing their chores and got paid very well for doing extra chores. We even paid them for brushing their teeth just so they’d have enough money for basic clothing. This really worked well. They started taking better care of their own clothing so it would last longer and they started looking at the price tags on clothing they were buying. In short, my kids became happy misers. They shopped the sales racks like pros. They also were dressed more stylishly because I didn’t know what was in style and they did.
There is a principle that is at work here and it is this: When someone is doing their own work and using their own money, they don’t waste. And conversely, when people are using other people’s money and having someone serve them, they are usually wasteful.
It makes you think. When the government starts giving you free this and that….how many resources are we wasting and how many lazy people are we creating. AND how many of us will be getting healthcare that we don’t want instead of shopping around for good deals and getting what we want. And don't forget, nothing is FREE!! SOME HARD WORKING PERSON IS PAYING FOR IT. Beware the nanny state! It will be chaos.

More Job Follies

I had a great job for two summers during my college years. I worked in the first visitors center on Temple Square in Salt Lake City. We did office work, helped people in and out of theaters, helped with noon organ recitals at the tabernacle, and kept things organized in the first floor desks. I even got to give the accoustics demonstration in the tabernacle and walk into the attic of the tabernacle for an inside look at the materials used in the building such as square nails and plaster with horse hair in it to add strength. I was lucky to have the job.

On the 24th of July Pioneer Day, the parade went past the square and while everyone attended the parade, not many people came through the visitor's center. So, we had a little break in the back room for refreshments. We were sitting on a counter eating sweet rolls and a girl was pouring orange juice for everyone. I held my glass out to the person pouring. There was a girl sitting between me and the pourer. I saw that I had enough in my glass and pulled my glass out from under the pitcher and the pourer kept pouring onto the lap of my friend. I have no idea what made me lose my mind and leave her covered in orange juice. Of course she had nothing to change into so we found something to wrap her in while we washed her skirt. Susanne forgave me. He had a good sense of humor about it. That is a vivid memory.

On the country's bi-centenial, July 4, 1976, there was a bomb scare on temple square while I was working. They evacuated the area except for security personel and ME! They needed someone that was expendible to help them look through the visitors center to see if anyone looked out of the ordinary. We went room by room looking at and in garbage cans and shelves and corners for anything out of place or foreign. In the end, it was proven to be a hoax, but it was pretty exciting and what a great story. I figure I have but one life to give for my country....just kidding.

My next job and the last job I had before I began teaching school was my job at the Park City Golf Course. They called me the Greens Queen because I drove the machine that said "Greens King" on the side of it to mow the greens. When I was learning how to use it, my first time on it, I drove it into a little stream. It had no brakes. So when I started rolling backward, I couldn't get it to stop and I rolled backwards into the creek. I can still remember the helpless feeling I had rolling into the drink. No harm was done to the machine or me. So I got back on and learned from the experience.

I later drove the same machine into the lake when I was mowing an apron of the green that was inches away from the edge of the lake. I also drove a seven gang fairways mower that was a BIG machine. I could lower each set of blades one at a time or all at once. I could mow a large swath in one pass. It was pretty fancy. I had a cage-like seat area that protected me from golfers hitting balls at me for good reason. It was target practice many times. I had a tractor that dragged a 5 gang mower behind it and it was tricky to back up. I got a little too close to some little saplings sometimes and nearly took out some larger trees when I misjudged how close I was getting to the rough. I learned to back up in tight places and manipulate the blades after much sweat and nervous moments. But I never lost a tree. I surely got a great tan that summer.